We often experience the feeling of happiness a bit like a state of intoxication. In that moment, you feel absolutely great. Almost like being “high”. But this state usually doesn’t last very long. And this high is just as often followed by a kind of “hangover”. Or even worse, you feel more miserable afterwards than before.
So is happiness really just a a kind of high that can’t last forever? What happens in our body when we feel happiness? And how does happiness differ from satisfaction?
The euphoria we feel in moments of happiness is largely due to chemical processes in our body that have a significant influence on how we feel. The key to this is the release of so-called “happiness hormones” – certain reward substances (hormones and neurotransmitters) produced by the brain that create a sense of well-being and happiness. The best known are dopamine, serotonin, endorphin and oxytocin.
The triggers for the release of these messenger substances are manifold. Alcohol, drugs or sex actually contribute to them being released. Sport and other forms of exercise also have an effect. Or to feel touched by beautiful music, a good conversation or the feeling of being in love. And, of course, professional success or other forms of social recognition.
The interesting fact here is that all these states of happiness last for very different lengths of time. Drugs, sex or money initially have a very strong effect as a reward, but do not last long and wear off quickly – so they have to be topped again and again. Rewards of a social nature – i.e. praise, recognition or power – have a longer-lasting effect. But here, too, the effect eventually wears off. There is a familiarisation effect. This kind of intoxicating happiness therefore has a half-life and this leads to us falling even deeper into unhappiness afterwards.
It is therefore very important to understand that the happiness we feel and satisfaction in life are two completely different things.
In contrast to happiness, satisfaction or contentment is above all an attitude to life – in other words, the question of how we generally experience, understand, feel and evaluate our lives.
How satisfied we are with our lives is shaped from an early age and depends, among other things, on how our parents view their lives and the world (epigenetics) and what kind of bonds we experience at a young age. This early imprinting has an impact on how we look at ourselves and our lives later on, and how we manage to deal with stress, challenges and disruptions. In this sense, satisfaction is a fundamental personality trait that remains relatively stable throughout life – but (and this is important) is not unchangeable.
Accordingly, the degree of perceived satisfaction with one’s own life also has a significant influence on the role that the search for happiness or the experience of feelings of happiness plays for us. The happiness we feel actually adds up to our basic level of satisfaction. This is why people who are unsatisfied with their lives are also more likely to be searching for moments of happiness. They wander around hoping that happiness is lurking around the next corner. This diffuse, undirected search for happiness is therefore often a central characteristic of rather dissatisfied people. Those who are satisfied don’t need this kick. Because everything is right and enough as it is.
So while drugs, sex, money, power and recognition eventually lose their effect, there is only one kind of happiness that will never wear out: the intrinsic happiness that comes from really enjoying what you are doing or experiencing. Here, the momentary feeling of happiness is tied to one’s own satisfaction and thus has a longer-term effect.
In terms of building resilience, it is therefore very important to develop an awareness of what only gives you a short-term “rush of happiness” and what are the things that will satisfy you in the long term. Because you can’t be permanently happy. You can only be permanently satisfied. Even intrinsic happiness only leads to an extension of the feeling of happiness and comes to an end.
In the end, it is only your satisfaction in life that remains.
