“Give me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change,
the courage to change things that I can impact,
and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.”

Reinhold Niebuhr

In order to understand what acceptance is all about, it is first important to dispel a widespread misconception:

In everyday language, accepting something is often equated with putting up with or sustaining it. This describes an extremely passive approach to a specific situation and implicitly a feeling of being at the mercy of others or the situation itself. One thinks one has to accept it because one cannot change it. A classic victim’s perspective.

However, that is not at all what acceptance essentially means. It’s much more about first accepting things as they are without judgement. In other words, adopting a neutral, observing attitude. And in the best case scenario, to make inner peace with the situation or the environmental conditions in which you currently find yourself.

This neutral, observant attitude is the foundation for an objective view of one’s own options for action. And thus the opposite of the powerless role of a victim.

“Love it, change it or leave it.”

Henry Ford

Because even if it sometimes doesn’t feel like it to us, we always have a choice. We are never victims, and we can always decide how we want to deal with a stressful situation in order to resolve it step by step – or sometimes with a bang.

And for this to be productive and not frustrating, we should never fight against something, but only for something.And for this to be productive and not frustrating, we should never fight against something, but only for something. And we can define what this is at any time. And also change it again.

Accepting a situation is therefore the springboard for

  • analysing our options
  • make a decision as to which option seems best to you
  • to try out this option, interms of taking action themselves and thus experiencing self-efficacy
  • to revise your own decision if necessary and take a different path

until you reach your goal at some point.