Often we have the feeling that someone who is successful has simply been lucky. And sometimes we feel the same way about ourselves. At worst, it’s quite ego-scratching, as we’ve learned as part of our moral codes that “hard work” should pay off, not luck. We find that rather unfair.

So is a happy coincidence unjust or even immoral? Or, in the end, is it rather based on the fact that we have allowed it to happen and that we have let ourselves get involved with it? Or that we even invited it? Or can we even invite luck into our lives and thus influence our success or well-being?

In English there is an interesting word for this, which does not exist in German: Serendipity, which means happy coincidence.

The nature of a coincidence is, of course, that it cannot be planned. And a lucky coincidence is one that happened to end happily or brought us luck. But that’s only partly true, and here’s where it gets interesting. Because the truth is: it always depends on what you make of the things over which you seem to have no direct influence. We all know the examples of people like the inventor of Post-Its, who invented an adhesive that didn’t stick well enough and instead of getting annoyed and trying again, invented sticky notes. Or the people who have been left by their partner or terminated by their employer and started a completely new life. What these examples have in common is that the people involved saw something that no one else could see. They saw an opportunity for something new that didn’t exist before. And they went for it.

So how can you create the conditions to invite more serendipity or more happy coincidences into your life?

There are a number of success factors for this, which we can internalise and also train:

  1. Be open to the unexpected
    Serendipity is more than pure chance or just luck. A happy coincidence presupposes that we actively open ourselves to the unexpected or even the unusual and recognise the value of random moments. Accordingly, we should keep a watchful eye out for positive unusual events in our daily lives. In this way, the unexpected doesn’t happen more often, but we start to actually see and recognise it – and so perhaps don’t miss that one crucial moment.
  2. Remain flexible in our thinking and acting
    Fixed plans and a rigid view of the world are also not helpful if you want to invite happy coincidences. After all, we can neither predict nor control the future. Everything is constantly changing, and it’s not surprising that the saying goes: “Life’s what happens while we are making plans.” or “Go with the flow.” Accordingly, it makes much more sense to think in terms of different options, paths and solutions rather than rigid patterns, thus opening up spaces of possibility that allow and favour the new.
  3. Practising optimism as a basic attitude

    People who are receptive to happy coincidences are characterised by a common attitude: They are fundamental optimists and try to make the best of their situation even in adverse circumstances. They do not see themselves as victims, but as the maker of their own fortune. They are able to identify and respond to positive opportunities. And that is something you can learn. It starts with looking at difficult or challenging situations not as a problem but as an opportunity for learning and for something new to emerge. Because experience shows: If we focus on how we can turn things around for the better, then they actually turn around for the better more often – and vice versa.

  4. Broaden your own horizon
    Probably the most important way to take advantage of lucky coincidences is to ask the right questions. And that means putting them as openly as possible. Because the narrower you pose a question, the more you narrow the field of possible answers and make new and creative solutions less likely. For example, if a fitter loses his job and asks “How do I get a new job as a fitter?” different answers will emerge than if he asks “What do I want to do with the rest of my life? What do I want to do to earn enough money to live a decent life?”
  5. Feel a sense of meaning

    The broadening of your horizon should be closely linked to the question of purpose. Because serendipity comes more easily when we see meaning in what we do. What’s more, when we have the feeling that we are doing something meaningful and giving something to others, it has been proven to make us happier, healthier and more productive.

  6. Live gratitude
    Furthermore, it helps to be aware of the positive aspects of every situation and to be grateful for them – also and especially in relation to challenging situations. This is best done and trained through rituals – for example, thanking each other in bed as the last act of the day for the positive experiences and learning opportunities of the day. Or to keep a gratitude diary. Or to thank one person directly every day for something positive in your life and their contribution to it.

  7. Create awareness and trust
    In order to understand the power of serendipity, it also makes sense to take a closer look at your own life in the rear-view mirror. This is because we tend to see our own development in retrospect as an inevitable progression – where everything logically builds on each other. I could tell my CV in exactly that way. But the truth is that I would never have taken up this one important position in London if I hadn’t bought the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung on a certain day and found the only job advert the company had ever placed in it on that very day. Because, until then, I didn’t even know that company. So it was a happy coincidence. Accordingly, the reconstruction of our past is important in order to be able to trust the existence of serendipity. So if we look back on our lives, we will realise how often serendipity has influenced and shaped our lives in the past – and we may not even have been aware of it.

All these success factors make it clear that you can if not learn serendipity, then at least invite it – and that this is above all a question of attitude. The more you open the door to serendipity and invite it in, the more likely it is to manifest itself and help change our lives for the better.